It’s the last day of March and it’s time for my monthly lessons and refinement update.
This month I’ve really been focusing on things to be grateful for. Seriously. Every meal I’ve been able to provide for my family. Every bill we were able to pay. Every item in the house we have that makes it a home. Being able to fill up my car with gas. Not going to bed hungry. All of it. Those small little wins are what have kept me sane and upbeat. Aside from my little boys, of course. 💙
This month, we thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel from this dark season we’re in. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. So we’re knee deep in prayer and putting our trust even more in God. Trusting that He knows what He’s doing and clearly this isn’t in our hands. He continues to refine me, teach me to let go of my control, and realize my plans aren’t always the answer. It’s difficult. It’s frustrating. It’s disappointing. However, I need God to guide me. I need Him to bring peace into my life because there is just so much wonderfulness going on around and in me. So, here I am. A pregnant hot mess, type A person who needs to control every situation, sleep deprived Mom, and an uncomfortable/limited mobility 37 weeks (tomorrow) pregnant lady who’s laying it all out there. Laying it all out there for Jesus to take and refine me even more.
So, I’ve been focusing on things I CAN control this month like: my relationships, goals or tasks around the house, crafting things, and the nursery. Not those other huge things that have kept us down since November. Not those hurtful people that continue to disapprove of our decisions or not trusting OUR walk with God. Not the next month that will bring more challenges. I’m just focusing on today. Today, was a win. Why? Because I got plenty of cuddles in with my guys 💙💙, Benjamin is safe and growing (hurting me but healthy), I’ve eaten three meals today, the sunshine is glorious 😎☀️, I have a home to live in, we have our health, and I got my nails done! 💅 And that people. THAT is what God has really been teaching me in all this. Life is beautiful. He will take control of it all, so YOU don’t have to. What a wonderful feeling. I will have days that I need reminding. I will have moments where I need to throw a pity party. I will need friends to lift me up. Friday was that day. -Thank you to those who have recently. ♥️–
This realization brings me to my top 10 lessons list.
1. Be grateful. If you are having a hard time doing so, surround yourself with people who will lift you up. Not those who make you feel guilty for feeling a certain way. It’s okay to have a moment to grieve. It’s not okay to live in it forever.
2. There is an official blindspot with this huge belly. I have run into Lucas or panicked at the store because I can’t see him more than once this month. When he was right in my blindspot all along. 😂🤰
3. Everyday I’m feeling such a strong feeling of incompleteness. This new little boy coming is going to be so so loved. I’m ready for him! He seriously is keeping us all so excited for the future.
4. I temporarily said “goodbye” to my ankles this month. I’ll miss you!
5. Taking a bath isn’t possible anymore. Unless Mike is home and can lift me out. 😂
6. Picking up everything off the floor isn’t worth it anymore. It’s too much work. 🤰
7. I am enjoying ALL the toddler helper attitude here. Lucas is my own personal Butler. 🤣😜
8. Marriage has been rocky at times this month, but here is what I’ve been reminded of… We’re just two people doing the best we can to make it work. No more letting other gunk from the outside world come into our sacred union. No more.
9. I’m a hormonal mess. I will be excited when my emotions are regulated again.
10. I sure do love my guy, Mike. The Lord blessed me with the most patient, thick headed, dreamer, and stubborn guy known to mankind. This wasn’t an accident. He can be frustrating and so can I! I needed his ridiculous ideas and he needed my realist attitude. 💕
An oldie, but goodie from March.
With honest intentions,